My Valentine’s Epiphany

There is a C.S. Lewis quote that scares me. Like, genuinely terrifies me. And this is it: “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

Here is a picture that perfectly explains it:

c.s. lewis

Chilling stuff, right? I don’t want that to happen to me!

If you’d asked my opinion on relationships a year ago, I would have probably given you a cynical response with emphasis on the pointlessness of them, and that’s why my “coldheartedness” is an ongoing joke between my friends and I. You see, I used to think that there was no point in going out with people because breakups were inevitable, so why put yourself through it all? But things have changed.

Don’t get me wrong I’m still very dismissive of whiny 14 year olds who claim to be “lonely” and NEED a significant other to complete them, but I’ve come to the realisation that it wasn’t very fair of me to shoot down all relationships because I thought dating at a young age was an unnecessary, tempting distraction. I still think that in the majority of cases it can be, but just because I didn’t feel I was mature enough to go out with people doesn’t mean that others aren’t, so I guess this is me admitting that I was wrong.

The Bible talks about not awakening love until the time is right so people have different times that are right for them I suppose. I am a hopeless romantic and I’m very fascinated by love. I have never been in love but hopefully one day I will fall head over heels for the right person and it will be wonderful. Many have said that my expectations of relationships are “too high.” I disagree; totally believe that my Mr Darcy is out there waiting to sweep me off my feet but until then, I’m happy as I am because Christ is enough for me, and I wouldn’t compromise my belief in Him for anything or anyone.

Does this mean I’m ready to start “dating” people? I think so. If someone asks me out, and that said someone gets me, respects and accepts me for all that I am, and I reciprocate such feelings, it’s about time I unlocked my heart from its casket to let its cold cockles get warmed. Do I like anyone right now? No. But I don’t think I’ll be as scared to admit it to myself next time I do. And just to clear it up once and for all, I am not and was never coldhearted, just… cautious. 

(P.S. – Still believe Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday designed to bring business to establishments after Christmas. If you really cared about someone, you wouldn’t need a special day of the year to show them this. That is all.)


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