Me: “Mummy, I’m now on Tinder.”
Abs (My mother): “What’s Tinder?”
Me: “It’s a dating app.”
Abs (My mother): ” … Why? Is it for Christians?”
Two very good questions from Abs tbh.
Anyone who follows this blog will know that I like to do something new every month to get out of my comfort zone, but when my housemate first suggested Tinder, I was like HECK to the NO.
You see, as a self proclaimed prude and “ice queen” and Christian, Tinder is something I have never considered. It has a not so great reputation as a sleazy hook up app, and that was what I thought it was for. My housemate was quick to let me know that I was being a bit judgemental, having not experienced it for myself, so I was challenged to try it out.
The goal? To go on a Tinder date and prove that there are nice people on it. So with this in mind, I downloaded the app. Forever #reppingGod, I put my favourite Bible verse in my bio, to let peeps know what I’m about innit:
And then I started swiping, which led me to some… interesting people:
My first match was with a guy who was a twin as well, and I was so hyped because OMG what are the odds, right? But then he sent me this:
…. So that was the end of that.
In total I matched with about 25 people, which was 25 more than I thought I would match with tbh – one of them used to be the title character in Billy Elliot on the West End, so claim to fame?
And now, on to the Tinder date.
It was with a recent graduate, who was also into films, and worked in healthcare. He suggested going for a drink, and I was quick to let him know that I wasn’t interested in a relationship or anything like that.
(You see, in naive Tai Land, “not interested in a relationship or anything like that” means I just want to be friends, but apparently that not what it means on Tinder. But I digress…)
We met in a pub, and it was… interesting; he came dressed in a suit. A SUIT.
I felt so under dressed in my dungarees (LOL), and it was just very awkward. There were only about 5 people in the whole pub (us included), so it was even more awks. He wasn’t much of a talker – a lot of our conversation was led by me, as he just stared whenever I stopped talking. It was very odd, and a bit unnerving.
Don’t get me wrong, I thought he was nice, but when he abruptly left the pub without saying goodbye, because I didn’t feel comfortable with giving him my number, I knew I had made the right choice. Some people have tried to argue that I was harsh for not giving it to him, as he had “been so nice,” but I was quick to assert that I completely have the right to not give him my number.
I had made it clear to him that us going for drinks was 100% platonic, and I also had no intention of seeing him again, so this “nice guy” entitlement culture is a load of bull. Shout out to the waitress in the pub for agreeing with me; women should not feel pressured to do anything they don’t want to. No. No. NO.
On a lighter note though, Mahan and Shak are the best for coming to the pub to make sure I’d be okay. They pretended not to know me ofcourse, but knowing they were close by was reassuring. I am so blessed to have friends who would come on a date with me, so that’s a positive thing to take away from all this.
Anyway, final thoughts on Tinder:
- I was wrong for thinking that it’s just for getting with people; friendships can be formed on it too!
- Personally, it’s not for me though. I didn’t like how it’s mainly based on judging people by how they look, and I felt bad for being so quick to dismiss people because of their chosen profile pictures.
- So I think I’d prefer to meet people face to face than online; people can be completely different people over social media, and I learned that quickly with my Tinder date… #neveragain.