An Oxford degree,
And now she’s a working gal.
Proud of you, Kenny.
An Oxford degree,
And now she’s a working gal.
Proud of you, Kenny.
18 years ago today, my little brother was born, and he took over our position as the cutest in the family. Over the years, we’ve gotten that back, and even though he’s a pain and annoying most of the time, he is still the most loyal, funniest and smartest of us all.
Happy 18th birthday to our original triplet; inside and out you’re better than we are.
I am more British than I thought I was.
You see, when you have dual citizenship, you exist in this weird limbo of feeling like you don’t really fit in anywhere. Confused? Allow me to explain.
Whenever someone in the UK asks me where I’m from, my automatic response is “Nigeria,” because even though I’ve lived in England for most of my life now, I still don’t feel “properly” British. I always assume that this is what people are getting at when they ask where I’m from, because even though I don’t really have a Nigerian accent anymore, to the majority of them I’m still a foreigner.
However, everytime I’m on holiday abroad and people ask where I’m from, I tell them I’m British, because it’s when I’m away from the UK that I feel like people accept me more as British. And this has been shown to be true, because I rarely get the “But where are you really from?” response when I’m abroad.
I didn’t think this would be the case when I returned to Nigeria though, as I thought that the feeling of total belonging that I don’t have in the UK would be present when I was back in my country of birth. But the Nigeria of my childhood is no more.
So much has changed! On the up side, yay for progress, because things like cinemas and shopping malls weren’t many when I still lived in Lagos, and now they’re everywhere. Technological advances have also brought better phones, laptops, and WiFi access to Nigeria, another yay, but it made me sad to see that some of my favourite food places have waned in popularity because of the likes of Dominoes and KFC, grrrrr.
One thing that hasn’t changed though, is how much money talks in Nigeria. There are still huge disparities between the rich and the poor, and corruption is still a massive problem, as bribery culture is very much a thing. With regards to infrastructure, there is a lot of work that needs to be done, and it would go a lot quicker if government officials didn’t pocket a lot of the money…
I am more British than I thought because after 13 years of living the UK, the patriarchal society that exists in Nigeria is not something I can tolerate anymore. My brother being allowed to get away with more simply because “he’s a boy” is not okay or fair in any way.
I am more British than I thought because being away from the British polite culture and the extra-ness of queuing etiquette made me realise that I’ve been taking it for granted.
I am also more British than I thought because no matter how much I tried to show my family that my Yoruba has actually improved since I’ve been in the UK (shout out to grandma for insisting we speak Yoruba to her on the phone), all they did was laugh and tease me when I spoke it- apparently my accent still wasn’t right. Peak.
So where does this leave me? Well I guess I don’t have to be one or the other; I can be both Nigerian AND British, because no matter how far away I am from it, Nigeria will always have a very special place in my heart. It’s a part of me, and living there for the majority of my formative years has played a massive part in who I am today.
Finally, TFC, I love you; I promise it won’t take another 13 years till we’re reunited ❤
It was my birthday on Wednesday, and as we’ve never had a birthday apart, The Keen One a.k.a Kenny came down so we could celebrate together! Thanking God for another year of life – we had afternoon tea and Thai food with friends and it was great. Here’s to feeling 22, and happy and free, but not so confused or lonely 🙂
Two years ago, I was invited to attend the Pembroke College Oxford ball as a guest of my sister, The Keen One a.k.a Kenny. I had such a great time, so I was more than happy to go again this year, and I got to bring Starbucks Gal with me!
The theme of the ball was Studio 54, a throwback to the disco 70s era, and highlights included Love Train (an awesome funk band), the silent disco (Dancing Queen will always be a TUNE), the ball pit because why the heck not? And of course, taking breaks from partying to watch the Simpsons in the college common room. The tenuous link to Studio 54 was that the episodes shown had Disco Stu in them; so random but I was here for it tbh.
Here are some pictures from the night- Ken and I played our FAVE game of Stalking The Photographer To Get In As Many Photos As Possible, and we got some great shots!
So, I’m walking with a limp again, and just like last time, it was caused by netball. Sigh.
For anyone who doesn’t know, my last week of neurology placement last semester involved me limping around the wards because I sprained my knee. This time, it’s my ankle that’s the problem, and I twisted it while playing netball with my housemates in the park.
It was a spontaneous decision to have a “throw about,” which is like a kick about but much better because it involves netball, and it was very cute and fun, even though I hurt my leg. Just look how happy we all were!
On a positive note, I went home this weekend, so I was able to get some much needed TLC and food from Abs (my mother). My ankle is feeling better too, so here’s hoping I don’t do any more damage to it…
But I really like dresses. You see my dilemma?
I’m a “dress person,” which means that they’re my favourite item of clothing, and quite high on my list of favourite things in general to be honest. I’m that person who swoons when passing wedding dress shops, and will stop a stranger in the street to tell them I like their dress. I own quite a few dresses- from casual ones to smart ones, to evening dresses, ball gowns and bespoke ones I’ve had tailor made, my dress collection grows with every excuse I have to get a new one. And our medical school half way ball is in exactly two weeks, the perfect excuse for dress shopping!
Which brings me to the title of this post: I really am the worst person to go dress shopping with.
Why, you ask? Because I’m really indecisive, meaning that it can take me hours to pick one. Abs (my mother) is such a babe for putting up with it, because she’s always on the receiving end of my dress sulks. I always go dress shopping for big events with Abs and the Keen One a.k.a. Kenny, and this is probably why I sulk more. Ken, being the Keen One that she is, usually manages to find a dress she likes in the first shop that we go into, but it’s never that easy for me.
So I get sulky and annoyed, start giving monosyllabic responses when asked what I think of the dresses I’m trying on, which makes the whole process longer for everyone. The worst thing is that I’m aware of the fact that I’m being a pain, but I can’t stop being in a foul mood, and it’s really frustrating. This goes on until I eventually find a dress after hours of acting like a child, and then I’m all good again!
This is a process that has been going on for years, but today, I was determined to change things; new year, better Tai!
I met Abs in London with a plan- I wanted either a green or purple dress that was either a mermaid cut, empire line style, or a sheath gown. With this in mind, we went shopping, and I was determined not to go into one of my signature dress sulks.
So how did it go? Well after just under an hour, and three shops later, I have a dress!!! It’s very pretty, and has lace in it, which is what I wanted. The style is kind of empire line meets sheath gown, and after having the tailor make some adjustments so that it fit me perfectly, I’m really happy with it! This is a new record for me, and even Abs was surprised at the more mature, decisive me. YAY.
You probably want to see what the dress looks like after I’ve hyped it up so much, but of course I’m not posting pictures till halfway ball, it has to be kept a secret 😉 I’ll say that it’s not green or purple though…
Shoutout to Abs for her never ending patience, and to Ken for providing support and comments via WhatsApp Video. Such a good day!