During our family prayers over Zoom yesterday, my 13 year old brother struggled to recall a good thing that had happened for him in 2020. Apart from his birthday in December, he couldn’t think of anything else to add because he felt that the year hadn’t been great. He mentioned in passing that he would have preferred to stay at home, because without being able to freely hang out with/interract with his friends at school, it felt like he was just doing online work in a different setting.
It broke my heart that he kept trying to play off his disappointments from missed school trips and memories with his friends as minor, because he didn’t think they were worth bringing up because “other people have lost way more.”
This got me thinking a lot about how so many people like my brother have experienced different manifestations of loss in 2020, and similarly to him they may feel like it’s not something they can bring up, because of how unimportant it might seem in the grand scheme of things.
My church sermon today focused on the idea of revitalising in the new year, and a particular point that has stayed with me is that no matter how big or small our losses are, to be able to move forward we must be people who acknowledge and grieve them well.
Personally, there are certain things I lost out on due to COVID that I tried to spin as positives straightaway, without acknowledging how much they pained me. And looking back on them, I still have some residual sadness that I haven’t properly acknowledged, so I think taking time to mention them now will help me fully move on:
1. The loss of time with my family during the first lockdown. The four months that my siblings and parents had at home without me really made me feel left out and sad, because it’s rare for us to be at home all together, so I really felt so out of it.
2. Not spending my 25th birthday with my sister. We will never have that back, and even though we made the best of it and it wasn’t as bad as I’d feared it’d be, it was still lowkey sad.
3. The new uncertainties/changes in my plans for life after F2. Due to COVID and circumstances beyond my control, I’ve lost out on the flexibility I’d hoped for, and that has been incredibly disappointing.
2020 has caused different types of loss for us all- we shouldn’t compare what we’ve lost with others, but that doesn’t mean we should deny them either. As we grieve our losses, and as Christians bring those losses to God, He heals and restores us, enabling us to make space for new life and what the new year will bring.
Are there any losses from 2020 that you haven’t given yourself the chance to properly grieve? Trust me, it really does help to move on when you acknowledge them fully, so definitely try it.
Here’s to a better 2021, everyone, happy new year! 😊
Life As A Junior Doctor 