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I Still Don’t Like Psychiatry

I didn’t have a great start to this rotation because I was told 10 days before I started that it was changing from a community to an hospital based post, but the upside was that I didn’t have to do on calls. I was also told that I could do outpatient clinics weekly if I wanted to, and I agreed to do one a week under supervision of a Consultant Psychiatrist.

3 days before these clinics were to start, I received an email informing me that I was now doing two clinics a week. No explanation or apology for the late notice; it was pretty much a ‘For Your Information’ thing. Ofcourse I was not having it, and refused to do the extra clinics because this wasn’t what I’d agreed to, it hadn’t been discussed with me, and it was unprofessional and just plain RUDE that this was being sprung on me like this.

I feel like this just sums up life as a junior doctor because you’re made to feel like a name on a spreadsheet being moved for service provision, without any consideration of the inconvenience or unfairness of it all. I have a life – being a doctor does not define it! It’s very unfair and I think I was absolutely justified in responding with emphasis on my disappointment in the poor communication and how badly it had all been handled. I am a doctor and deserve to be treated like a professional – the infantilisation and how junior doctors are treated in the NHS is really not okay.

So what was the resolution?

I decided to do the extra clinics because they’d already booked patients for them, and it would have been unfair on the patients to have their slots moved. If they hadn’t already booked these appointments, I would have definitely fought it more, but I chose to let it go.

Psychiatry 2 – 0 Tai

If they backtrack and say I have to do oncalls though, it is definitely NO and I’m ready to escalate to the BMA if necessary. Enough is enough!

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Opposing Genocide Should Not Be Political

This week, my workplace implemented a new uniform policy because I’ve been wearing a Free Palestine badge. They said that even wearing just a Palestine badge would be too “political” and sent this out today:

It was escalated to HR and the BMA, and long story short: they’re allowed to make me do this as long as every “political” statement from staff also gets disallowed, hence the new policy.

To say I am disappointed would be an understatement. I fundamentally believe that this is an humanitarian issue, not a political one, and as healthcare professionals we should all be concerned about the disregard of international law, as well as moved by the plight of our colleagues under attack in Palestine.

Innocent civilians are being killed, and hospitals are no longer safe. So I think showing solidarity with them is important, especially us healthcare professionals at work, because we have the privilege of working in a safe environment, and unlike the brave doctors in Gaza, we’re not having to take care of and treat patients under such horrific settings.

Raising awareness of what is going on is a moral and humanitarian duty, not a political one, so FREE PALESTINE.

And to all the MPs who voted against a ceasefire yesterday, as well as those who abstained, history has its eyes on you all.

To get involved in local action calling for a ceasefire in Palestine, click here.

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Why I Am Striking

Exactly 10 years ago I had my interview for medical school, and over the next three days I’ll be joining the junior doctor strikes. My 17 year old self would have never seen this coming – refusing to go in to work, really? Goody-two-shoes me who has dreamed of becoming a doctor since she was 5? Never! But nevertheless, here we are. So I thought I should explain why.

First things first, a junior doctor in the UK is any doctor who isn’t a Consultant or GP. It annoys me that the media tries to put across the narrative of junior doctors as ‘young’ or ‘inexperienced’ doctors who are fresh out of medical school, and this isn’t true. I graduated 4 years ago and I am still a junior doctor. My Registrars who are nearly 10 years post graduation are junior doctors. I know GP trainees and doctors who are in their mid/late 30s – we are all junior doctors, so let’s get that straight to begin with.

Next, let’s talk about pay- since 2008, pay for doctors has gone down by about 26%. So a newly qualified FY1 doctor, after 5-6 years of medical school and graduating with nearly £100,000 in debt, gets paid about £14 per hour. As an ST1 GP Trainee with nearly four years experience as a doctor, I get about £19 per hour, and a Registrar (ST6-ST8 with eight to ten years of experience) gets £28 per hour. The BMA is calling for pay restoration, to bring junior doctor pay back to the level it was in 2008. This is because with the cost of living crisis and the cost of being a doctor (many people don’t know we have to pay hundreds of pounds yearly for exams, indemnity insurance, and to keep our registration), a lot of doctors are struggling.

It’s due to this that many are leaving to work in Australia and New Zealand because doctor pay is better, as are working conditions, because as you can imagine, people are more willing to work if they know they’re getting what they deserve for their skills.

Now I’m well aware that I’m so blessed to have a secure job, and many people can only dream of getting what I get paid. But being a doctor isn’t an ordinary job – it comes with so much additional stress and responsibility, that I even struggle to talk about the toll it takes on me some days (I’ve always been better at writing how I feel). Knowing a decision you make could cost someone their life is so SO hard, and I feel like a lot of the general public just don’t understand this. So is it too much to ask to be paid to reflect this?

Having a National Health Service with the majority of services being free to access is one of the greatest things about the UK, and I’m so proud to be part of it. But without enough doctors to provide services, the NHS as we know it isn’t sustainable, and that makes me so sad.

But that’s not the main reason I’m striking. I’m striking because I think I’m beginning to show signs of burnout.

I’ve been more irritable and snappy on the wards, and I’m worried that this is slowly starting to creep into my life outside work because I’ve been getting more short-tempered, easily annoyed with people around me, and I just want to be away from everyone some days. Also, I’ve been crying for no reason sometimes, what’s up with that??

We had a GP teaching day on wellbeing last week, and one of the talks listed symptoms of burnout. I cried because I could relate to quite a few of them.

You see, working on a ward with inadequate staffing means I’m looking after too many patients, and this is very stressful. It’s also really unsafe because if doctors are too stretched and tired because they don’t have time to eat or drink properly during busy shifts, things can get missed. And if there is no continuity of care because the ward has different locum doctors working there everyday, patient care suffers. This is what is happening across the NHS at the moment, because there just aren’t enough staff because the Government isn’t doing enough to retain them, and patients are dying because of this.

I knew very early on in medical school that I was never going to be top of my year or anywhere near that, but I knew I would be a good doctor because even though I wasn’t as “brainy” as some of my colleagues, I genuinely loved interacting with and spending time with patients. I’ve always seen being compassionate and empathetic as my strengths, and the day I start to lose that is the day something needs to change.

Well that day has come much sooner that I thought it would because I was snappy with a patient last week due to being stressed on the ward, and I actually made them cry. It was like an out of body experience because I felt like I was looking at myself and thinking, “Who are you?”

So I feel like the day for something to change is here, because if I start to lose my compassion then where does that leave me?

(P.S – I immediately apologised to the patient after snapping and she was so so kind about it – “It’s okay, you’re all doing your best, I know it’s busy.” Reader, I cried.)

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Another List of Reasons To Be Cheerful

It seems like I’m always doing these around this time of year, but yet again, the November blues have arrived. Lately, I’ve been super busy with work, my job, volunteering, and sport and church commitments, which has made me tired, and when I’m tired, I’m cranky. So apologies to anyone I’ve been snappy with; it’s not you, it’s me.

With the US election results and news of the BMA giving up on fighting the junior doctor contract, my usually positive outlook on the future has taken a bit of a hit, so I’ve decided it’s time to remember that it’s not all doom and gloom. So without further ado, here are some reasons to be cheerful, Taiwo:

  1. You’re alive!
  2. You’re living with lovely people, and compared to how much house drama you had this time last year, be grateful that you’re with such great girls.
  3. You’re studying medicine. Don’t you know how many people would happily trade places with you? So appreciate how blessed you are, and give thanks to God.
  4. You’ve had good reports so far; try to have more confidence in yourself! Ofcourse, this is no excuse to become complacent, so keep working hard, and remember to always give the glory to God.
  5. Don’t worry about the future so much- focus on getting through Year 3 first. And if you start to think about what life will be like after graduation, never forget that you will have a secure job as a doctor, and that is something you shouldn’t take for granted.
  6. As fun as being a student caller has been, the job ends next week, so you’ll have some free time to catch up on work, prep for OSCE, and maybe even read for fun and/or watch more films, YAY.
  7. You’ll be home for Christmas, your favourite time of year, in a month. A MONTH.
  8. Finally, there is hope in the promise of the cross. As bad as things are/will get, never forget the hope you have in Christ. Light shines better in darkness, so remember John 1:3-5 whenever you feel down.